Thursday, September 23, 2010

How I Roll

Alright guys, let's start off with a story about how I like to party. This happened about two months ago.

I was working evening shift on a saturday night, and one of the waitresses asks me what time do I finish. I tell her half past ten, and she asks me if I want to go party with her and some other co-workers of ours. I've never been one to refuse an invitation to get shitfaced, even though I had morning shift coming up. So I finish my shift, take a shower and go to her place for a bit of pre-partying. We take it easy, just a few beers. It must've been about 1 a.m when we took a taxi to the nightclub.

Once there, I quickly downed a few pints to get in the mood. You know how it goes though - a few pints turns into a few more. My memory cuts off at about 2 a.m. The next thing I know, I'm crawling on the main-street of a nearby town (not the one we were at though) under the tables of some cafe. To make things even better, I realise I'm not wearing my jeans (though I did have boxers on) and my boots are missing. Oh, I was also covered in my own vomit. Anyway, it was about 7 a.m at this point, and I had to work in an hour. After ten minutes or so of crawling around, a friendly police patrol picked me up. I managed to tell them where I live, and got a free ride home.

Once home, I took a quick shower and put on my uniform. It was 7.45, and I live right next door to my workplace, so I wasn't even late. Once there, I promptly proceeded to walk into a wall and fall down on my ass, and if my knife had been a little sharper I'd now be missing the tips of two fingers. Anyway, they sent me home and told me to come for the evening shift. Didn't even get fired, everything went better than expected.

I was later told by my friends that after the club, we went to the beach because I was so hammered  they wanted to take me swimming so I'd sober up (??). When we were at the beach I had, apparently, taken my jeans off, vomited on them and thrown them away. At this point my friends gave up, put some taxi money in my boots and sent me on my way. I had then taken a taxi to the nearby town, where I woke up without my jeans and boots. I also lost my passport which was in my jeans-pocket.

I also have some other drunken adventures which I'll post later.


  1. Great blog, man!

    Hope you`ll check out mine as well.

  2. That waitress sure did have it coming to her! However, I might add that she seems awfully suspicious... Are you sure she's human?

  3. damn that's quite the tale haha

    check my blogs for sick politics!

  4. I am blown away that Andrew W.K. hangs out on the robot. I'm not much of a party person myself but that doesn't mean I don't get amusement from reading other people talk about partying and such, so looking forward to more!

  5. How do you know the taxi driver didn't take advantage of you, steal your passport, and sell it on the black market?

  6. Lol @ the Andrew W.K. comment up a few posts from this.

    But seriously, who takes someone swimming to try and sober them up? Seems weird to me.